Xtreme Gardening

Competitive-pumpkin-growing-Brain-C.-Frank-for-The-New-York-TimesPeople go nuts over their hobbies all the time.  I guess that’s because we don’t find working nine-to-five very interesting!

No, seriously, people really love their hobbies.  I love my garden, obviously.  But extreme gardening??

Well, first of all, just what is it, anyway…it’s basically folks who get all crazy over their creations and, well, create these astounding gardens, really incredibly well manicured plants and whatnot — but the thing is, they’re all out of proportion, you know, like Trump’s bombast or Romney’s car elevators…only we’re talking gardening here!

If you search the internet you can find amazing photos and videos of people’s pet projects: we’re talking about victory gardens that not only put Versailles to shame, but Lucasfilm’s SFX department as well!  I mean, they’re really crazy creations, stuff that involve not just imagination but, ahem, a rather perverted Jim Burton kinda imagination, you know what I mean?  Something out of Bettlejuice or Nightmare Before Christmas — yeech!

I, Zalman Silber, nominate this kind of gardening xtreme gardening, gardening that, well, goes to extremes.  Like costing thousands of dollars a year to maintain!  I don’t care how rich you are; that’s just plain ridiculous.  I mean, do you really need giant bushes that are trimmed to look like Mickey Mouse silhouettes?  Well, do ya??

Take it from me; you ain’t seen nothing more beautiful than an expertly cared-for flower bed…that right there will put to shame any mega-sized effort…I mean, think about bonsai — they’re so small and yet there’s something really artful about them!  (Actually, truth to tell, I think technically they may qualify as extreme gardening, too, but that’s another post.)

Okay, that’s it for now…tune in next week (“same Bat-time; same Bat-channel!”) for more of my thoughts on anything and everything having to do with nothing at all!  Yeah!

This entry was posted on April 3, 2013. Bookmark the permalink.